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M Simone Boyd

Professional Relationships

The POWER of First Impressions

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First impressions are powerful and key to building professional relationships. Because people make decisions based on them. For example:
  • Are you trustworthy?
  • Are you friend or foe?
  • Do they like you?
  • Should they hire you?

Do you know that we only have 7 seconds to make a first impression?

It’s true, according to Forbes.

Part of making a good first impression is believing in yourself, the person you are, and your potential. Perhaps it sounds silly, but each of us has God-given gifts and talents the world needs. And, not making a good first impression could be a barrier to us sharing our gifts with the world.

Let’s look at five easy ways to make a good impression.
 
SMILE
Employers, generally, want to hire friendly people. Smiling is the quickest way to demonstrate that you are friendly and approachable.
 
MAKE EYE CONTACT
Making eye contact shows interest and demonstrates that we have nothing to hide. Now, I’m not saying STARE. Because that’s just weird. But, the majority of the time we should be giving the speaker our full attention.
 
FIRM HANDSHAKE
Giving a firm handshake demonstrates that we are confident and helps build rapport. According to Forbes, a firm handshake can establishjust as much rapport as 3 hours of interaction.
 
FOCUS ON THEM
Pay attention to the speaker and what they are saying. Don’t focus on how you will respond. Doing this frees you to live in the moment and be authentic.
One of my clients is an actor, and we talked about this a few weeks ago. He explained that focusing on the other person (or the given objective in actor speak) frees you to be more responsive.
 
POWER POSE (before hand)
Before going into a stressful situation like a first date, performance, or job interview. I recommend power posing. I learned about this idea from a TED Talk by Amy Cuddy.
 
The idea is that our posture can determine our outcome because we feel better about ourselves. She recommends holding postures of power for 2 minutes for an instant confidence booster.
 
I know you may be skeptical. Morris was too. But, guess what?
 
Just before he did our taxes last month…I caught him power posing.
 
So, give it a shot! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Check out Amy’s 6-minute concept here:  If you found this post helpful, leave a comment below or share it! It makes me feel better to know that I’m not writing long letters to myself:-).
 
Love, Simone
 
Question: What other tactics can we use to make a good first impression?

 

Overcoming Fear

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Google says that fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat. Fear can also be paralyzing i.e. the fear of doing “something” is often worse than actually doing the thing you fear.

But, I overcame one of my fears last week–networking.

The idea of networking makes me nervous. Because it conjures up visions of a whole bunch of folks buzzing around, pretending to be interested in one another, exchanging business cards, and making promises to e-mail and “do lunch.”

I have successfully avoided networking for the past five years, but since I am seeking to change career fields it seems that the time has come for me to overcome this fear.

The training event that I attended last week had networking written all over it. So, I set out with the goal of meeting 3 people.

“Just 3 people, SB, you can do this. Just meet 3 people.” I gave myself a pre-training pep talk. But, when I arrived at the conference all the courage I had summoned–evaporated.

I must have looked pretty pitiful too; because Steve, from the EPA, offered to help me find my way to the registration table. My anxiety eased a little because I had not even entered the building and I had already met one person.

But, then I entered the building. And, all I could see were throngs of people that all knew each other and knew where they were going and there I was by myself…and I felt like an outsider. So, I checked in at registration and regrouped. I skipped breakfast, and went to the opening session early. So, that I could sit in solitude and not face all the networkers eating breakfast together with all of their bestest friends.

However, someone sat beside me. I said good morning and we started to talk. It turns out that Jeff is the president of a local university. So, I began to feel a bit better because I had met two people and the first session had not even started.

By the end of the event, I had met nine people. Three times my goal!

And, I learned something about myself. I realized that I am uncomfortable walking up to a stranger and introducing myself. However, if I sit next to a stranger…I can talk to my new best friend all day. I think the key for me is the one-on-one interaction.

But, it made me think…what other people and opportunities have I missed because of fear?

Don’t get me wrong though. Some fear can be good. For example, the fear of being poor makes me work really hard, budget, and save. The fear of being unhealthy makes me eat 7 to 9 fruit and vegetables a day and go to the gym 3 to 4 times a week. And, the fear of God makes me want to live a life that is pleasing to Him. So, when it is time for me to go…I am ready.

Fear can be a good thing because it pushes us. Or fear can be a bad thing because it holds  us back.

What fears do you have that push you or hold you back?