M Simone Boyd
….the children do play. My 26 Year-Old brother, Izo, is running the house while my parents are away. He sent me this video of dinner this week.
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| “If you take me out of this watering bucket, I will bite you” |
It was a hot sticky August day.
And, my brother Isaac was watering his plants.
I guess he had been outside too long, because my nephew Cinco climbed into the watering bucket.
To me, the look on his face says “If you take me out of this bucket, I will bite you.”
Last week, I received a kind rejection note from one of the magazines that I submitted an article to. Although, I was a wee bit disappointed that I was rejected…the editor was gracious enough to respond in three days and give me constructive criticism.(Typically, editors respond in three months…if they choose to respond.)
My previous two submissions were met with complete silence, and I am thrilled to hear back from someone. So, for me, getting a response is 1) progress and 2) encouraging.
I’ve been on a quest to escape my boring job for 18 months. And after repeating the grueling process of informational interviews, submitting applications, following up, and interviewing for umpteen times. I’ve decided to give up the non-profit job search and refocus my efforts on writing. You know that question that interviewers ask you “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I would always think “Honey, I plan to be on a book tour for my first novel by then.”
But, I would always say “I would like to stay with the organization as long as the relationship is mutually beneficial.” Because you can’t tell an organization that counsels people or educates children that you want to write a novel that tells stories of families conquering life together. Typically, writing novels does not fit into their respective strategic plans.
So, I’ve decided to write with the same fervor that I gave the job search and we’ll see what happens. I don’t know where this writing journey will take me, but I do know one thing- persistence is the key to being successful.
Morris and I studied persistence last week in 12 Traits of the Greats, and it says that “great achievers often achieve great things simply because they refuse to give up. They don’t retreat in the face of setbacks. They don’t shirk in the face of disappointment, and they don’t quiver in the face of delay.”
In my own family, my brother, Isaac, is the model of persistence. He has been relentless in his pursuit of a degree in sociology. Despite setbacks, discouragements, and having to balance being a husband, father, and having a full-time job…he graduated this year. And now, he has been asked to present his Senior Thesis at a sociology conference. I’ll be leaning on Isaac for advice heavily as I pursue this book tour dream, and reminding myself of Winston Churchill’s speech “Never Give In“.
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| Photo from My Black Piano |
I know that you too are pursuing goals and dreams. So, let’s stick with it and keep me updated on your progress…and I’ll write about your journey and we’ll get to the finish line together. Lauzi, a Chinese philosopher, said that “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” So, we might as well get to steppin‘.
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| Obie, My Nephew Cinco, and Me |
But, going into my highschool days there started to be a sense of normality, or so I thought. I was a typical teenager whose mind was not focused on school but rather on hanging with girls and playing Nintendo games. This was the “I can’t” era of my life.
If there was something that was challenging, I always went to the mindset “I can’t”. It started with school, but overflowed into my everyday life. I started to see that I couldn’t complete simple tasks. It was to the point where my mom and older sister, S.B., were ready to whisk me off to military school.
My junior year, my father gave me an ultimatum. Either I could quit soccer which I loved and play basketball which I despised or I could not play sports at all. I had played soccer since I was four. Soccer was a love and a passion. If I had continued playing soccer and my father had not heard the Lord, and more importantly acted on it- there is no telling where my life would have gone. In high school, I was standing at a stout 5’7, and I am currently standing a lean 6’9. Needless, to say my dreams to play professional soccer would have been short lived. This is why God established families, and designed them to have a father.
To give you a visual on how the direction of my life was going I compare it with the story of Jonah and the whale. My father, while I was young, heard the Lord and spoke my life into a purposed destiny, but like Jonah I strayed away from what I know I was suppose to be doing. I decided to go my own way, and just like the story of Jonah I spent a good a bit of time in the belly of the whale. For me it wasn’t a whale, but I was alone surrounded in a sea of uncertainty.
I still had family, but instead of reaching out I tried to do everything on my own. And, I relied on my own resources. In the end, I quickly sank to the ocean floor weighed down by struggles and I had no idea of where to go. During my sea of uncertainty God took my broken life, fixed it, and he blessed me with a beautiful baby boy.
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| My Beautiful Boy |
This baby boy, honestly, brought me back to the light. I knew the road I was going down was that of destruction. But to see my son be born, and with his eyes open and hands in the praying position… my heart melted. And on March 23, 2013, I knew I had to get back on track. So, the Lord allowed me a second chance to fulfill my destiny. I’m not quite to Nineveh yet, but I’m on the road…. and I know it will be a beautiful journey.
Getting to Destiny-
Zaiah
A few week’s ago we had a family reunion for my dad’s side of the family. It turned out great, but it was a rough road to get there. You see, my dad and his siblings don’t have parents anymore. My grandfather died in July of last year. And, he hadn’t been in the ground 6 hours before the fighting began among the siblings.
So, we, the grandchildren, staged a coup de ta.
We sat down and had a VERY long talk about how their sibling squabbling was affecting us as grandchildren/children. It wasn’t pretty. And, we realized that even we (the grandchildren) had some stuff to work out amongst ourselves.
But, the end result was good. Our parents agreed to let us take over the family reunion this year. They agreed not to talk negatively about each other… to each other. And, they agreed that we have to stay close even though their parents, our grandparents, are gone.
Our family is mending, and we had a great family reunion. Lots of good food, games, rest, a trip to see the Motown Revue, and a black bear stopped by for a visit. Thankfully, he didn’t stay too long.
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| Izo the Kitchen Ninja |
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| Mushrooms and Asparagus |
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| My Brother, My New Sister, and My Cute Nephew |
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| Scrabble |
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| The Guys Watching the NBA Finals |
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| Connect4 My Dad v. My Aunt
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| Our Family Photographer |
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| A Night at the Motown Revue |
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| My Pretty Cousin being Serenaded |
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| My Aunt Being Serenaded |
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| My brothers and cousins in the background dancing |
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| A Bear Stopped for a Visit |
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| He Tried to Get Some Food |
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| And then he left |
 
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| All of Us
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If you have been following this blog for the past 19 months, you’ve meet 8 of my 12 family members.
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| My Family Fantastic |
You’ve met my husband, dad, 4 of my 5 brothers, 1 of 2 sisters, and both my cute nephews. You have not read about my mom (Elizabeth), youngest sister (Shannel), or my fourth brother (Manny).
Let’s start with Elizabeth, because she is a model mother. My mother (a former Paris runway model) has lead quite an interesting life. She was chosen as one of a handful of students to integrate her school in 1964. She then went on to become the first black homecoming queen of her university. Post-college Elizabeth went on to conquer the fashion world in Paris, Milan, and New York City.
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| Elizabeth in NYC Circa 1978 |
But then my dad (ever the salesman) convinced my mom to marry him and move down south. Elizabeth had plans to be a fashion buyer for one of the local department stores, but then I arrived.
And, before I knew it…I had seven siblings and my family seemed quite strange in comparison to others.
Elizabeth home schooled most of us. Opted to have home births administered by midwives. Grew a lot of our food in the back yard. Eliminated the use of microwaves as a health precaution, and didn’t allow us to watch TV during the week. Looking back I can see that the tough decisions my mother made, shaped me and my siblings for the better. But, the strangeness of my family did not go unnoticed by our relatives.
As a result, most of our holidays were spent with just our clan. But, there is an upside to being isolated from extended family…me, my siblings, and my parents are a close-knit bunch.
I am especially close to my mother. Even though, I am married and live 700 miles away…we talk almost everyday. Whenever I go home for an extended period of time, my mother always finds time in her schedule to make my two favorite meals: spaghetti and fried fish. Because my mother is generous, kind, and enthusiastic. In fact, I can always tell when one of my siblings had a particularly challenging athletic event the evening before. Because she always sounds like an eighty-year old chain smoker when she loses her voice the day after.
Sometimes, however, my mother’s enthusiasm can get the best of her. I often tell her haste makes waste. Cut once measure twice. But, I think at this point she is just used to having 9 people depend on her. So, whenever she can get ahead of the game she aims to do so.
One such opportunity reared its head at Thanksgiving a few years ago, before I married Morris.
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| The Lifetime Wedding Planner |
Thanksgiving is HUGE in my house, and it is the holiday that everyone tries to make it home for. We had all gathered around the table and were preparing to say the blessing, when my mother announced that she had a gift for me. My little sister ran to get the gift bag and handed it to me with a beaming smile.
The lovely gift bag held a beautiful book that my mother purchased on sale…The Lifetime Wedding Planner. It was complete with budgets, bows, envelopes and everything one needs to plan the perfect wedding. One minor problem. I wasn’t even dating anyone…and haven’t for several years. My five brothers erupted in laughter. And I, I wanted to crawl under a rock.Boy, did she get ahead of the game.
But, that book turned out to be quite handy when Morris and I got married last year.
I guess that’s what makes Elizabeth a model mother, because she thinks ahead and plans for what will be…not what is.
My new nephew made his arrival six weeks ago. As you may remember, it was a bit of shock to know that he was coming. But, he is here and he is wonderful. I spent some time with him last weekend, and all I could think about is protecting him and keeping him happy. I named myself “his favorite aunt”.
And, we have a song. New York, New York was my secret weapon whenever Baby Isaiah got a little fussy. And for some odd reason, it worked like magic in calming him down.
As a family, we have a lot of things to figure out. How do we care for him without overstepping the boundaries of being extended family? How do we manage when he is with his mother’s family and we don’t get to see him? How do we trust God in a situation that seems so messy?
For right now, we are taking it one day at a time and praying a lot.
Isaac, my first brother, and I got off to a rough start before he was even born. When asked if I was excited about being a big sister, I informed people that I intended to throw him in the trash as soon as he was born. You see, I had four glorious years of being an only child before Isaac made his grand entrance into the world on August 1st. Please note that Isaac even had the audacity to steal my birth month.
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| Isaac and Me on his first day home |
But, as time went on my sentiments changed and I began to love and even defend the little guy. Once, when my brother was playing in a basketball tournament and a guy from the opposing team fouled, in my opinion, a little roughly. I ran out onto the court, tackled the offender, and proceeded to inform him that if he laid another hand on my brother I would smack his face.
The poor 12-year-old didn’t know what hit him. I was 16ish at the time and probably should have known better, but I simply could not tolerate my brother being knocked around. I have matured since then, and I no longer threaten to smack people.
My brother Isaac has matured also. He is a wonderful father to Isaac V, husband to Rebekah, and a budding actor. He was an extra in the movie 42, that opens this weekend. The 42 is backed on the life of Jackie Robinson, the first black american to play in American Major League Baseball.
But, this is not Isaac’s first acting gig. At 5, he was featured in Beary Bear’s Bedtime Bible Stories. The video series was filmed for several weeks, and Isaac was paid $10 dollars per hour, which amounted to a small fortune in the early 90’s. I can’t help, but think Isaac’s role in the 42 is a sign of his big future ahead. Isaac graduates from college in May, and I am excited about what is ahead for him.
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| Isaac IV and his son, Isaac V |
The text message read: “Family, Conference call tonight at 8:30 p.m. Please call in.”
My heart sank, and I felt uneasy. I knew it was going to be bad news.
This brother had NEVER set up a conference call before…so it could only be bad news. At the end of the conference call the news had been revealed: He was going to be a dad in March.
He is my third brother and the most gentle and kind of them all. In a house of ten, he usually waits to eat last. He laughs a lot and loves to dance. And my friends describe him as approachable, even though he is 6 feet 8 inches tall. He is two months away from college graduation, and had plans to play basketball overseas. He has no career. No money and no way of supporting a child.
I have grappled with this bad news for weeks. At first, I was livid. How could he be so foolish? How could he shame our family like this? Second, I was sad. Because this is not how I envisioned my brother’s life going. I had hoped he would graduate, go overseas, play basketball, make a lot of money, come back to the United States, get married, start a family, and be the bestest and coolest middle school history teacher ever.
I know that sounds crazy…you can’t plan someone else’s life.
But, I realized something today. I have plans for all of my siblings lives. Not detailed plans, but hopes for them. I want them to excel and do well in life. I want one of my sisters to be the best women’s basketball player ever and I want my other sister to achieve her dream of being an architect. I want my first brother to have a job that he loves and make a lot of money, I want my second brother to be an award-winning broadcast journalist, I want my fourth brother to finish school, focus, and find out his purpose in life, and I want my fifth brother to graduate from high school and play division I basketball and not talk to girls so much for the fear that he’ll end up like my third brother.
My third brother has started a family, and his son will be he in a few weeks. And, I am proud of the strength and courage he has exhibited. He wants the baby to live with him, and he is seeking custody. He is more focused and determined than I have ever seen him. He is working on the weekends, he is on the track team, studying in the early mornings and late at night, and attending classes during the day.
The arrival of my new nephew is quickly approaching. Even though, he wasn’t in my plan for my brother’s life…I take comfort in knowing that God’s plan for my brother’s life is much better than mine. My hope now is to be a loving aunt and supportive sister.
