Over the past few days, I’ve found myself defending my introvert husband from my family when he doesn’t show up to one of the millions of family gatherings, basketball games, or social commitments that are thrust upon us. …
Family
Build A -Ship You Can Be Proud Of
I was listening to a sermon by Dr. Joseph Warren Walker III several years ago and he talked about building ships. Ships are our relationships, courtships, and friendships. And as we stand at the beginning of 2015, I’d like to ask that you set goals for your ships.
I did this for the first time in 2013, and one of my goals was to write two letters a week. As a result, it healed a broken relationship with my younger brother. He says that the letters were encouraging to him because sometimes he doubted if anyone ever thought of him.
The experience was eye opening for me, because I thought about my brother twice a week… but he never knew it. It turns out; …
(Video) Are You Making This Relationship Mistake?
Imagine you and your spouse are whisked away for an all-expense paid 3-day vacation at an exclusive resort. While hanging out on a crisp Saturday morning, your spouse turns to you and says “Look at that hummingbird, have you ever seen one like that before?” You nod (without looking up), say “uh huh” and return to sorting through your Facebook posts.
Your spouse mentioning that hummingbird is an example of an emotional bid for acceptance. An emotional bid is a request for attention, affection, or support and your response to that request generates a critical outcome. Here’s a quick video that explains “emotional bids” . …
Book Review: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families
Earlier this I read, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen R. Covey. And, several times while reading I found myself thinking “the world would be a better place if all families aspired toward this.”
One principle, Dr. Covey explains is the Circle of Influence and the Circle of Concern.
The Circle of Concern is a large circle that embraces everything in your life that you may be concerned about. The Circle of Influence is a smaller circle within the Circle of Concern that embraces the things you can actually do something about. …
5 Steps to Being A Better Sister
Last week, my sister, Michaela, and I were driving to the store together, and there was a 15-minute period of dead silence that really bothered me.
Perhaps it shouldn’t have, but it did.
I mean, Michaela, is a junior in college and I thought she would want to tell me about all her boy problems, and professor problems, and life in general. But, she really didn’t tell me anything. And, no matter how many questions I asked…they were all met with one word answers. She wasn’t being mean. We just didn’t have anything to talk about. But, shouldn’t sisters always have something to talk about? …
Last Week We Moved to Nashville
Last week Morris and I moved to Nashville, TN. Morris’ job relocated him to the Nashville office, and I got to come back to my hometown.
This was the smoothest move I’ve ever had. Because all of our worldly possessions were packed, labeled, loaded, driven to Nashville, and stored by a moving company. It was a weird, but beautiful thing to see all of our dishes, pictures, and valuables (read: one 20″ inch TV) wrapped lovingly in bubble paper while we sat on the couch and watched.
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| Cleaning Couture |
We did have to clean up, though.
Leaving D.C. was Tough
It was tough to leave my friends and colleagues that I’ve grown to love over the past 6 1/2 years. It was tough to leave our church family where Morris and I have grown in our marriage and faith. And, it was heartbreaking to leave all my friends.
I cried so much one day, I gave myself a headache. I think it was all the farewell parties, cards, well wishes, and (even) a poem.
Reality hit me: I won’t see these folks on a regular basis. And, I’m going to miss them.
The Good, The Scary, and an Identity Crisis
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| Me & My Nephew |
The move is good, because we’re in the same city as my family, and we’re now driving distance from Morris’ family.
But the move is scary, because I left my respectable job as an energy analyst to be a writer.
You profession is indicative of your status in D.C. And, you can’t go anywhere without someone asking you (within 2 minutes of meeting you) “what do you do?”
Translation: Are you important enough for me to bother with?
I’ve almost bought into that mindset.
Morris and I are going to a BBQ this weekend, and I’m already rehearsing how to answer that question.
Am I having an identity crisis?
Maybe.
But, I think it’s a good thing.
Maybe I was too wrapped up in trying to impress people. Maybe this phase will lead to some much-needed self reflection. And, maybe this phase will lead to something awesome! Either way, I’m thrilled about the possibilities and the free time to focus on my dream.
Forgive me for Silence
As you might have noticed, I’ve been away from this blog for two months. Please forgive me. I thought that I could balance it all i.e. :
- work full-time
- write in the early mornings
- participate in the Count Me In/Capital One Business Accelerator Program
- launch a website
- write an ebook
- conduct relationship research
- keep up with my goal-setting group
- take a blogging class
- work out 3-4 times a week, cook dinner for my husband, travel, do informational interviews, be a career coach for college students, be active at church, spend time with friends and volunteer for the charities that I love.
- AND move half-way across the country
But, it turns out. I could not.And, when I found out about our move…I decided that I just wanted to soak up every last moment with my friends.
Thank you for coming back and visiting this blog! And thank you to Allison and Jessica C. for checking back and noting my absence. That means the world to me, because I wasn’t quite sure if anyone cared:-). I promise to be more consistent!
Up Next Week
Next week, we’ll be discussing chemistry and the problem with falling in love. I’ve received a couple of questions about this. So, I want to talk about it with you and share my thoughts.Please stay tuned…better yet subscribe via email!
Next week, we’ll be discussing chemistry and the problem with falling in love. I’ve received a couple of questions about this. So, I want to talk about it with you and share my thoughts.Please stay tuned…better yet subscribe via email!
It’s good to be back. Love, Simone
What a Father Looks Like
My brother, Israel Kirk, made this Father’s Day video for me, and I wanted to share it.
Celebrate your father or a good father that you know today. John Eldredge in his book, Wild at Heart, says that the question that haunts every man is “Am I Enough?”
So, encourage and appreciate your father, the fathers you know, and future fathers today. Let them know that they are more than enough and just what they mean to you.
Happy Father’s Day! Love, Simone
Awesome Black Dads
In celebration of Father’s Day, I am showcasing awesome black dads for the month of June. There are a lot of them out there, but for some reason the spotlight doesn’t shine on them often.
Here’s a picture of me and my dad…a looong time ago. If you have an awesome black dad or know an awesome black dad would you send me a picture and a bit about him?
I’d love to showcase him here. Love, Simone
Video: How to Become a Better Parent in Less than 3 Minutes
This week I am reading, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen R. Covey. The book has great advice on how to be intentional within the family unit, and I’ll post a review in a few days.
In the meantime, I want to share my first video with you. I gave this talk a few months ago and I thought it might be helpful.
Tip 1: Do-Keep The Love Tank Full
Tip 2: Do-Practice What You Preach
Tip 3: Don’t- Hide Your Mistakes from Your Children
Question: What else should I add to this list of parenting tips?
The War on Families
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| Image| theragblog.blogspot.com |
Two years ago, I was a juror for a criminal case.
At the time of her arrest, the defendant had a gun, drugs, and her 18 month-old son in the car at the time.
And I began to get a picture of the her life from the character witnesses. Her family was unsupportive. Her boyfriend was unkind, and she was uneducated.
It made me sad, because as a juror I am sworn to look at the facts of the case in isolation. But as a christian, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for this young girl that had been failed by so many.
They Were Both Doomed
And, I started thinking about what kind of life her son would have. The odds are that:
- He will live in poverty
- He will not complete high school
- He will have anger problems
- He will face a similar jury for committing similar crimes.
And, I got angry because I realized this baby boy and his mother we both doomed.
So, in my zeal to do something I decided I would change careers and become a parole officer. But, after weeks of phone calls, introductory e-mails, and research I never even got an informational interview.
So, I decided I would wage war with my keyboard.
The War On Families
Whether or not you realize it, there is a war on families. And, it is fought in many seemingly unrelated battles:
- fewer Christian women getting married
- the number of marriages that end in divorce
- the proliferation of same-sex marriage laws
- the wrong images of marriage that abound (read: Jay-Z and Beyonce et.al. )
- continuous family feuds and unresolved conflicts
John 10:10 says that the Thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy. But, Jesus came that we might have life and it more abundantly. Abundant life includes our relationships, marriages and families.
And, I am on a mission to see that restored.
Why I Write this Blog
I write this blog because the world needs strong families. Strong families start with strong marriages. And, strong marriages start with strong relationships.
John C. Maxwell in his book, Make Today Count, says that the relational foundation of any family is a couple’s marriage. It sets the tone for the household, and it is the model relationship that children learn from more than any other.
I also write this blog for my single friends that I love and adore. They want to be married. I want to share the lessons I am learning. I also want them to skip my mistakes.
Question: What battles do you see being fought against strong families?