I was sitting in Belga Cafe on Capitol Hill talking to a friend about how I really wanted to be a writer.
I was feeling a little dissatisfied with my job as an energy analyst and really felt the pull to get back to writing. (I’d been itchin’ to write ever since Mrs. Butzer told me I was a good writer during my Junior year in high school.)
And my friend, Morris, asked me:
“Do you have anything to write about?”
“No, not really.”
“Well, is there anything that’s bothering you?”
“Well, my younger brother is getting married next month. And I’m a little worried about what my relatives will say about me STILL being single.”
“You should write about that. Just start a blog and see what happens.”
Five years later, I’m still here writing! The direction has changed: we are now focused on helping build fantastic relationships, marriages, and families. And we are now a WE.
As in you and me….and everyone that comments, subscribes, and shares. My goal when we switched directions was to build a community of Christian women that support each other in all stages (single, dating, married) of their relationships.
And its happening, y’all.
It’s really happening.
I’ve been so blessed with reading your stories and comments, and it is a gift to know that God can use this blog to encourage my sisters. The next goal I would like to work toward is, expanding the Christian Girl’s Guide to Attracting and Marrying Mr. Right.
I started on the guide 18 months ago by interviewing Christian, Black, Men. Because I wanted to get their thoughts on relationships, marriage, and what they look for in a wife. I’ve received positive and constructive feedback from several of you. Suggestions like:
- Including Biblical References
- Ask Christian Black Men about “the physical aspect of a pre-marital relationship i.e. sex”
- Talk to more men…ten is NOT enough.
So in celebrating our 5th Blogiverary, I wanted to ask you:
What questions do YOU want to ask Christian, Black, Men regarding relationships?
We’re going to have a community call on Tuesday, July 21st from 7 – 8PM EST to chat and answer this question. If you are an e-mail subscriber, you’ll automatically receive call-in details. If not, you can subscribe here!
Love, Simone
Congrats on your anniversary!!!! Wow, 5 years is a long time in the blogosphere. I’m just sorry I didn’t discover you sooner.
Now on the questions for the Mr. Right…..Do you find the choices for dating overwhelming? Single men have soooo many options these days and Black Christian men have even more because of the plethora of single women to choose from. How do you narrow down your options?
What advice would you give a single woman ready for marriage when it comes to how to go about meeting an eligible man ready for the same?
How do men REALLY feel about ultimatums? I ask because to me it seems like it’s necessary at times to keep from continuing to invest in a relationship that’s going nowhere. I was with my ex for almost 5 years without a commitment (in my back sliding days!). Now, after a two year separation and re-connecting for only a few months, we’re already seriously talking marriage simply because I refuse to live like I used to and issued an ultimatum. Was that a good move or nah?
Let me stop. Obviously, I need to be the first one to log in to that call!
Faith Simone recently posted…This Then Is the Work of the Spirit
Thanks a bunch, Faith! Yes, 5 years is a long time and I never thought I’d be here that long. Actually, had I known I’d been here that long I probably would have quit. But our Father has a way of only showing us one step at time…and not the finished product. We’ll see where the next five years take us!
(Btw, it was virtually impossible to find me on the Interweb because until last year I had no Facebook, Twitter, and no web presence. The long and short of it is: I was hiding from the past…but that’s a story for another day.)
Whoa.
I LOVE your questions! Yes. Yes. And Yes. I haven’t done any interviews in a few months, but I am especially curious about what the fellas say about “where do you meet an eligible man?” I’ve heard lots of sermons on positioning yourself to be found ala Ruth and Boaz, but in the 21st Century where are the wheat fields where the gentlemen congregate.
Regarding ultimatums, I’m going to email the previous interviewees and see if I can get some insight. I’ll report back as soon as I get a sense of what they say. Thanks for sharing your story, and I’m praying for you. Love, Simone
Girl, you were incognito for real! I understand. Sometimes you gotta go underground for a minute.
And you are so right about those wheat fields…where they at? Lol. I’ve heard it said that singles should just pursue their natural interests and they’re bound to stumble upon a like minded person. I don’t know how I feel about that, but I do know that I’m a girly girl and I’m not going to meet a man at the places my natural interests take me, aka the nail salon, chick flicks, shopping malls, writer’s groups (almost always all women), bakeries, (I have a little bit of problem with the sweets) etc. And lets not forget church, where in the African American community the congregation is mostly women.
As far as the ultimatum, I can’t wait to hear what your guys say! I asked my S.O. if he felt pressured in any way by my stating what I want clearly and he said not in the least. It just gives him something to think about. I guess maybe the approach or tone of the conversation is as important as what you’re actually saying when dealing with things like that. I’ve been around men long enough to know that honey will take you so much farther than vinegar.
Thanks for the prayers and I’ll do the same for you Simone!
Faith Simone recently posted…This Then Is the Work of the Spirit
Bwhahaha! Yes, I was a bit underground.
I KNOW exactly what you mean, by the places you hang out. That was ME! Until a dear friend staged an intervention and told me I need to go places where I can “potentially” meet a guy. My usual routine included friend’s houses, the theater, church, and the places you mentioned.
I wrote a blog post about the “Dating Intervention” when I first started blogging. Here’s the link: https://www.msimoneboyd.com/the-intervention/
Thank you SO much for your prayers, Faith. And I can’t wait to see what the gentlemen say about ultimatums. Blessings…Simone
Congratulations to you, Simone! I think that your blog is needed and that you are asking all the right questions to get the right conversations started. Keep on doing what you do:) And in terms of questions, I’m sure some women want to know about deal breakers. Always makes for some interesting discussions!
Hey Quanie! Thanks SO much for the kind words.
Deal breakers?! That’s a good question. And I think it is so interesting because we as women have totally different deal breakers. So, I’m excited to see what the gentlemen say. Thanks for stopping by.