Dad First, DJ Second: Lessons from Both Sides of Fatherhood

If you’ve listened to the radio in Tennessee over the past 27 years, you’ve probably heard Courtney Poe’s voice. He’s DJ Cwiz and he’s toured the world with hip hop’s biggest names (including Oscar-Winning Three 6 Mafia and UGK).

But Courtney says that his most important role is being a father.

Last year he, joined a couple hundred other runners for the Fatherhood Games 5K. He runs half marathons regularly, but this particular event was different. Because it was a race to celebrate him and all dads.

“I did [the race] because I wanted to celebrate that I have one for the dads. I run all the time, but this one was personal,” said Courtney.

He explained that he’s been on both sides of fatherhood. Initially, he was just trying to make things work as a co-parent.

Both Sides of Fatherhood

But as relationships end, sometimes bitterness takes over. Courtney admits that sometimes he allowed anger to override being a good father. But he came to a turning point and realized that he had to at least try to be a good dad.

“At first, it was all about getting my kids to like me. Being in the music industry sometimes, we as entertainers get caught up in the business. So, I would buy them things. But that was short lived.”

Courtney credits his fiancée for helping him understand the true role of parenting and helping him strengthen the relationship with his kids. She raised her daughter on her own and changed his perspective on:

• parenting
• tough love
• and the order of a household.

As a result, he’s seen big changes. “I’m no longer just a checkbook for my kids. They are actually running to embrace me. And on the weekends when I take my oldest son home, he’s actually dragging his feet. Where at one point, he was really standoffish.”

But he had to navigate the court system to get to this point.

Breaking the Cycle

 At one point, Courtney did not get to spend much time with his children. “I’m living proof that dads can get a lawyer and be involved with their kids.” He explained that there has been a shift in the court system. And more and more dads are being awarded shared custody.

Courtney was raised by his step dad and mom.  “My mother was a singer and directed music at Tennessee State University. My stepdad was a pastor and a shrink—definitely a weird Kool-aid combination,” he says with a laugh.

He had a strong spiritual background but it was still a tough situation. Because even though his step dad loved him,  the absence of his biological father was still felt.

And he sometimes wonders why his dad didn’t fight for him. But Courtney made the decision that things would be different for his kids.

“I decided that my two sons and daughters would never be able to look me in the eye and ask ‘Why weren’t you there for me?’,” said Courtney.

He spends the weekends soaking up every minute with his children.

Weekends with Dad

Weekends for Courtney are a flurry of activity filled with trips to the gym, karate practice, and running around with his daughter. Because he makes it a point to spend time with each of his children individually and hang out as a family.

 “I try to do one-on-one things with all of them. And then we do a whole family outing like bowling or the movies in the evening. So, it is constant constant pushing,” said Courtney. He explains that a key element to being a good dad is spending time with your children.

But the weekends are too short. “I don’t like it when they end and everyone goes home. But, this is just a step in the process. And, as long as everything is moving in a positive direction I’m okay with it. At one point, I didn’t even have the weekend,” he said.

A Shift In Hip Hop

There’s also been a shift in the hip hop industry in regards to fatherhood. “Until recently, no one really talked about fatherhood. But, the popularity of shows like [Run’s House and T.I. & Tiny: The Family Hustle] have helped give fatherhood a good look. They’re helping to make it cool again” said Courtney.

He says that he hasn’t seen much change with the younger artists, but fatherhood is going in a different direction thanks to the influence of established artists. “I don’t think people realize the influence that artists like T.I. have. For him to show the world what he is doing and how he’s doing it, just speaks volumes,” said Courtney.

A Blue Print for Life

Courtney has accomplished a lot in his 27 years of DJing. He’s met a lot of people and made a lot of money. But, he says his greatest accomplishment is being a good dad.

“There is no better feeling than being a dad,” he said. “Women get an opinion of what kind of man they should be with from their dads. And I get to give direction on how [my kids] should handle life. Whatever life throws at them, I’m trying my best to give them a blue print for how to respond,” said Courtney.

The Fatherhood Games

So, if you are looking for a special way to celebrate fatherhood and create family memories, join Courtney and hundreds of dads at the Fatherhood Games on June 20^th in Whites Creek, TN.

To register visit: www.fatherhoodgames.com

What lessons have you learned from your father about parenting?